the miscommunications

i was talking to my mother the other day and she said the only thing she ever wanted was for my dad to love her as much as she loved him. which spurred a thought. sometimes people don't show their love the same way we show ours. we get caught in a miscommunication and our love is lost. stop losing it, start valuing it. no matter if it's how we think it should be, they may be thinking the same exact thing on the other end.

magic

so this post is going to be a bit longer than normal. and it's going to be in bullet point format because that's how i think. i'm going to tell you about a day in the life of, well, me.

• i had a late start to my day, and still had to get my tire filled with air and drive to work which takes about an hour. not a happy start.
• i got pulled over going a lot over the speed limit. lets say 20 over. so clearly the cop is like uhh ma'am you were going pretty fast. long story short, he decides to have grace and just give me a warning. thank the Lord, right?!
• i made it to work with 1 minute to spare, and get put at a kind of lame spot in the store. one of the plain old registers where you don't really do anything, so i have to go out and interact with guests a lot. here are some of those interactions.

1. a man (in his upper 40's lower 50's, married with kids a little younger than me, and foreign) walks over to me and says something along the lines of "I don't mean to offend you but I just had to let you know... you are a very beautiful woman." and i just stopped and stared at him. i don't take compliments very well, but for some reason they matter from complete strangers. i blushed and thanked him, and he smiled and walked away. i held my head a little higher that day.
2. this story may or may not bring a tear to my eye. this little girl was pitching a fit because she wanted one of the yeti balls. her dad comes up to the register to buy some candy and says to me, "I want to buy that yeti, also." now, this guy had a teardrop tattoo by his eye. scary. he goes on to say "I am the happiest I have ever been. just ring it up." so I grabbed one the little girl wasn't holding and rang it up. i ask if he wants a bag, and he replies "no. i want her to think that i just took it for her" so i smile and give him his receipt with his candy and he walks over, takes one of the yeti balls, and sneaks it out of the store. but right before he walks out, he turns around and grins at me. and the little girl followed him out of the store.
3. three brothers came to my register to buy these trading figurines that we have. well the oldest got the one that he wanted so he was done, but the two younger ones wanted one just like their older brother. however they had to trade from the mystery box. but the lady i was working with was being a rule follower and said they could only trade once. so one of them got what they wanted, and the other didn't. a little while later they come back with their dad and a younger brother who wanted a specific one that we didn't have in the store. so he gets one and starts trading. well i broke the rules and let him and his other brother trade until they got one they liked. well the little boy couldn't seem to pick one from the mystery box he liked. so i turn it around, and let him just pick whatever he wanted. the dad looks at me with insurmountable appreciation and mouths 'thank you'. the little boy finally picks one he likes and his face lights up and looks at me and says THANKS!

the moral of the story is, obviously, i love my job. its my job to create magic for these kids. they're at disney world. rules don't apply there. they don't grow a single day they're there. they are supposed to have the most fun a person can have in the world. and it extends to the parents. i still get teary eyed when i see mickey mouse at the forefront of the parade. he's magic. he brings you back to childhood and makes all your dreams come true.

don't give up on a day just because it had a rough start. allow yourself to be joyful despite the circumstances.

realism

sometimes i get sad. and other times angry. most of the time i try to stay positive. but i'm going to be real. who wants a robot, anyway? if you could control me you would get bored. be dynamic. be different. be who you really are and show your true colours. not everyone is happy all the time.

the blessing

recently i've been doing a lot of thinking. and i've been planning on this particular post for most of that reflection period, but Matt Davidson's recent post finally gave me the final push to do so. my life is so blessed. and i know that may come as a shock to a lot of you, seeing as how the two month anniversary of my dad passing was three days ago. but God provides. i'm not saying i've become a super fanatic about living for Christ recently, because sadly that's not the case. but i can definitely see God's hand in my life. it's been tough, but who can say that life's been easy? i have the strength to make it through the day. and i had my dad for a little over 20 years of my life. those years are full of memories of him that i get to reflect on happily. yes there were rough times, but the happy times outweigh them. and now my family and i can exchange stories that dad would have loved, and when something happens we know exactly how dad would have reacted to it. from short cuts, to curse words. he's still present in our every day lives. and what makes everything even better? my family is so close now. we have to be. we've banded together to hold each other up. i honestly can say that i think that my family is the best in the world, because we're making it through this and growing together. not many people get this blessing. God deemed us strong enough to make it through, and i am grateful.

tabula rasa

don't let what i've done in the past change every single thing you think about me presently. people learn from their mistakes of the past and strive to change their errors. forgive and forget. everyone needs a tabula rasa.

the child in all of us

only five year olds can rival me in the amount of excitement that rushes within me whenever i even think the words "Disney World". and now i work there. how many people get to say that their boss is THE Mouse? okay, so around 62,000. but guess what? my family just grew 62,000 people. feel free to be jealous. i get to be a kid every day. me and peter worked it out, i'm the lost boys' new mom. wendy is out. i plan on being a double agent, hello pirate weekends. hook and i are having a summer fling.

the forgotten thought process

most girls think about their wedding day and plan it from the time they turn five. it's like something clicks in our brain that someday prince charming is supposed to sweep us off our feet, fall in love with us, marry us, and then we live happily ever after. we're set up for failure. marriage is about more than just love. yes, that's a key factor, but that's not all. it's an agreement on how to live life. before you can even think about marrying the man of your dreams, you need to sit and talk about what kind of family you need to have. are your morals in tune? what are your parenting methods going to be? do you want to be parents? if so, to how many children? what happens when you don't get along with the in-laws? do you have a plan? do you have a schedule to be in a certain type of living arrangement by a certain point in your life? there are so many things to consider rather than just saying "I love him, and that is all that matters." i know im not an expert on relationships, but i've watched them flourish and fall apart and can learn from others mistakes. put thought into your relationships, they don't affect just you, nor do they just affect the present.

the words that formulate to writing

i am a stream of thought, minimalist writer. which in all actuality does not make any sense. i am inspired by hemingway in his brevity, but also enjoy kerouac in his writing that only makes sense to the people that think like he does. poe, as novel as he may be, gives too many superfluous details that just take up too much time. my writing style makes no sense, but i am not so slowly coming to terms with the fact that i, in general, am not a normal individual.

the tears that fall

each tear is a testament to how loved you were

missed

it just sucks that sometimes thats what it takes. my dad was the one in my family i related to the most. he and i were very similar in so many different aspects. we loved movies, books, big words, movies, figuring out stuff for yourself, and the peace in silence. so many years i wouldnt even let him give me a hug or a kiss on the forehead and tell me he loves me. he did this cute thing where he would come up to me and say "hey, have i told you today how much i love you?" even if he had already asked it five times that day. or he'd come home from work and open his arms and say "pay me" which was his way of asking for a hug. he loved talking about the things you aren't supposed to talk about. seriously. he'd bring up religion and politics anywhere and everywhere. he made friends with people of all ages, and loved quoting the movie Caveman... which isn't even quotable. sure, he had his flaws. everybody does. but he isn't remembered for those, because he had exponentially more things that were great about him that everybody loved.